went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
How's work?
Spinning.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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