Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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