THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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