She announced her abortion via fbk
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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