Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
