she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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