On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
