Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found your dick twin last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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