I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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