Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
