Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
