paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
