Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize