come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
