You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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