Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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