I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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