The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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