That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
