You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
