Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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