My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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