Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
