chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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