Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
