Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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