i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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