The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize