why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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