Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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