cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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