I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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