OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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