i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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