The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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