did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
