i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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