i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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