I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm at about main and main street
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
