What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
