i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My dick has a subreddit
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
