Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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