sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
