If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
