32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
