your room smells of hookers.
And success
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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