idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
