He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize