She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
