based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
