IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
