have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
