Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
