Ambien. No doubt about it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
