that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
