Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
