sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
