He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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