Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
