Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize