I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry