in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
