I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack