I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.