it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.