So how was he last night?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment