I wanna passion pit in your ass
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina